


To Defy Fate

by ToriColourBastia (orphan_account)



Series: Half of My Heart: A Collection of Jeanmarco Drabbles [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabble, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Titan!marco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 01:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1800820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ToriColourBastia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before the battle of Trost, Marco tries to accept his fate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Defy Fate

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this was posted a day late (again). With no finals tomorrow and (hopefully) merciful parents, I'm hoping to get back on schedule. These drabbles don't take very long to write. I could probably get a bunch of them done in an hour, I just didn't have the time.
> 
> Anyway, for Marco's (belated) birthday, I present the first explicitly Marco-centric drabble and also the longest one to date.
> 
> Yes, it deviates a bit from canon. I don't think Marco was a titan shifter, to be honest, and even if he was, I doubt he survived Trost. But I couldn't help but put some Titan!Marco angst into this challenge. Expect lots more, by the way.
> 
> This is for prompt 130: "To Defy Fate". The masterlist can be found [here](http://audreymgonzalez.com/2011/master-list-of-prompts/).
> 
> Edit: Goddamnit, I forgot the summary. Sorry everybody.

We've been leading up our whole goddamn lives for this and I'm the one who fucks it all up.

I'd prepared them for this. I knew I couldn't do it, not after living with humans for so long. Annie knows that. But the mission is also incredibly important.

A pivotal mission and I have to mess it up by falling for some asshole with two-toned hair.

An asshole with two-toned hair who happened to be one of the most beautiful men I'd ever met. He's noble and honest and even though he doesn't realise it, I know he'd be a great leader if he was given the chance.

And there's still a part if me that wishes training never ended. I still want to be with him and hold his hand when he's scared, but too stubborn to admit it. I want to see him command the Military Police and I want to be there beside him when he does.

I could run away, of course. That's always been an option. But I couldn't do that to him. There's only so far we could run before going outside the walls and into Titan territory. I could fight them off. I can always fight them off. But... I couldn't do that to Jean. I'd hate to scare him with my Titan form. I honestly feel like I've been lying to him from the start, even though I know he's ignorant to me and the other shifters. God, I keep imagining how betrayed he'd look and it kills me.

I'd come to Annie at the start and told her I didn't know if I could do it. We'd made a deal that if I ever did something to jeopardise the mission, she'd kill me. Plain and simple. At the time, I didn't think it was so hard. I would be a danger to the mission, to the point where I wondered why I was picked. Maybe as some cruel joke: the boy raised and abandoned by humans would be the one to do them in.

And here I am facing death in the face, and the more I think of it, the less I want to die. I want to see Jean and I want to see him succeed. But... I'd only be hurting him in the end along with the other shifters.

Jean taught me that they were wrong, that not all humans are monsters. Maybe I don't have to be one either.


End file.
